The Butterfly

July 20th, 2011 | Foody

Hey guys I am just begining on my long journey of learning to be an animator: I have the whole Forest Gump song in the thing. I can’t make it stop, it just plays and plays. There is no way to turn it off. Enjoy my blog!

Price of Gas

April 27th, 2011 | Foody

Republicans are making the argument that if we cut subsidies to oil companies our already high gas prices will increase. That’s true, but what they are actually saying is that if we stop giving them billions of dollars they might stop returning a portion of that money to us in the form of lower gas prices. This is an Eddie Murphy “It wasn’t me” level argument.

A Boy Named Carroll

April 27th, 2011 | Foody

My song, “A Boy Named Carroll”, same general trajectory as “A Boy Named Sue” but, instead of getting tough, he gets really good at citing In the Heat of the Night actor Carroll O’Connor as proof that Carroll is a men’s name, and he grows frustrated that In the Heat of the Night isn’t the cultural touchstone that it once was, and much of it’s commentary on race sounds a little tin eared in today’s America.

Here is a Video of Me Doing Stand Up If You Are Curious

April 20th, 2011 | Foody

How to Sell Good Wine in a Box

April 20th, 2011 | Foody

I am not in the boxed wine business but I have what is probably the best idea for those poor shmucks in the boxed wine business who are trying to sell good wine in a box.

See the problem is when people think of boxed wine they think of terrible wine because most boxed wine is terrible wine with names like “Chillable Red” or “Fruity White” or “Sloppy Divorcee”. The clever solution of the brainiac wine merchants has been to make their box really fancy and nice. That won’t work because it you can only make a box so nice before it looks chintzy. Premium products don’t, as a rule, come in premium packaging.

What you need to do is sell the same wine you are selling in the box in a bottle, and make the bottled wine pretty expensive. That way instead of people thinking “That’s some expensive boxed wine you’ve got there” you get people to think “Wow this wine is much cheaper if I buy it in a box”. This post is mostly about how good I would be at marketing wine.


April 20th, 2011 | Foody

See how many talents I have?

Why Respecting Paul Ryan is Something Dumb Idiots Do

April 20th, 2011 | Foody

We get it. The long term budget deficit is a big problem. And yeah Medicare is the biggest part of the reason why the long term Budget deficit is a big problem. And yes Paul Ryan’s plan would cut Medicare spending. So let’s credit him with the political courage of… wait. Let’s not be idiots. Democrats propose a carbon tax which would increase revenue and possibly ameliorate catastrophic climate change. The media says. “This is not a serious idea. It is too unpopular to pass!” The media is right in a way that is sort of a self fulfilling prophecy. Obama proposes cost controls on Medicare as part of the affordable care act. These get called death panels and rationing and aren’t treated as serious ideas because they are unpopular.

Then a dragon awakes. Paul Ryan has a plan to fix everything. “Why don’t we just give seniors money to get healthcare only less money than it costs to provide seniors with healthcare. And instead of doing this to people who are old now why don’t we just do this to people who are old later? Because people that are old vote and when these people become old, they won’t vote. Because shut up.” And not content to use his deficit reduction plan to just fix the deficit he instead uses the savings to cut taxes on the wealthiest people and not cut the deficit.

Let me assure you. If you are in the media this is a serious plan. This is a serious plan not in spite of the fact that it contains ideas too unpopular to actually be executed, but because it contains ideas too unpopular to be executed. You see America is sick and medicine is supposed to taste bad. So the fact it tastes bad is proof that it is medicine. This is why when you get a cold it is helpful to rub dog shit around the inside of your mouth. So yes the deficit is a problem but not fixing it by making the “tough decision” to screw over people who are unlikely to complain about it for a while is not serious. It’s almost as if whether an idea is declared serious depends entirely on whether it benefits the narrow interests of the incredibly rich.

Creative Commons Happy Birthday Song

June 26th, 2009 | Foody

In 1990, Warner Chappell purchased the company owning the copyright for US$15 million, with the value of “Happy Birthday” estimated at US$5 million. Based on the 1935 copyright registration, Warner claims that U.S. copyright won’t expire until 2030, and that unauthorized public performances of the song are technically illegal unless royalties are paid to it.

My alternative: Happy Birthday Song

I recorded this song for people who are not law breakers or pirates to sing at their next birthday bash.
Creative Commons License
Creative Commons Happy Birthday Song by Michael Foody is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at

Sotomayor & the Ricci Case

May 27th, 2009 | Foody

With  Barack Obama’s nomination of Sonia Sotomayor to the supreme court there is going to be a lot of focus on the case of Ricci, et al. v. DeStefano. This is not only because the Ricci case is particularly controversial (even though it is) but because the Ricci case parallels the case against Sotomayor herself. 

The Ricci case in brief: The New Haven Fire Department sought to fill captain and lieutenant positions. Union contracts required the promotions to be based on the results of an examination. A city regulation states that promotions must come from a pool of the top three scorers. In this particular case this would preclude any blacks from being promoted. Additionally the pass rate for blacks was much lower than the pass rate for whites. Fearing legal action there was an investigation where another testing service representative stated that a  test could be created that would have less disparate results while admitting that the test’s disparity was within legal limits.

There was a vote and the test results were not certified. Some of the top scorers sued. (If you want a better summary read the linked wiki. I’ve found news reports to be uniformly terrible focusing primarily on the public interest angle of Mr. Ricci studying really hard because of his dyslexia which really has nothing to do with the merits of the case.) The legal question of the case is whether it is legal to disqualify a test for having a racial disparity of results, this is separate from the comparatively complicated moral question of whether it is fair to disqualify the results of a test because it would promote less equal outcomes. Read the rest of this entry »

The Rope Ladder

May 25th, 2009 | Foody

The carnival had a rope ladder, you would pay money and then try and climb this swivelly ladder and if you got to the bell you would win a big chintzy stuffed animal. I think it was a bear dressed like a pirate. I don’t really remember, I don’t trust myself with this detail.

I did the rope ladder before, with my feet hooked under the ladder, so that if it rotated I would hang from the bottom and continue to climb. It was really hard but it totally worked. Then the kid running the game said that it didn’t count because I needed to complete the game upright. Only it didn’t say that anywhere. I got so mad. I’ve probably never been so mad at a stranger. I was just furious. I asked to see the supervisor and another guy came out, he was such a dufus. I expected him to cave but he said that I wasn’t the first person to think of it, lots of people try it, and “think that they’re so clever”. I really wanted to punch the guy in the face. I did one of those things where you kind of twist your shoulder back reflexively. Like I was actually going to punch the guy. I don’t know if I wanted to be threatening or what, or just to psyche him out but I didn’t swing and he didn’t flinch. I probably could have been happy with a flinch.

I know this is stupid, like this is one of the worst things about me, but I really regretted not punching a kid in the face. I thought about the alternate world where I do, and I hit the kid, and I get arrested and feel incredibly stupid. In that world I regret hitting him, and recriminate myself for being incredibly childish, what did I want with a stupid stuffed animal anyways? Did it make any difference whether my victory was somehow sanctified? But I was pretty sure that that regret at being an idiot would feel less bad than the regret I felt. One time I told a girl that I was seeing this story and that she shouldn’t cheat on me with anyone too big, because I would probably try and fight him. She said that was really weird and she was right. I think she probably would have broken up with me eventually anyways, but this story probably speed things up.

I didn’t like carnivals or theme parks any longer. I went to one, and I saw a rope ladder. I didn’t want to try again. I don’t have any interest in vindicating myself. I didn’t think it would help. I was waiting in line for a roller coaster for a long time. When I got to the front of the line I remembered the rope ladder and I sort of relived that moment. I was so preoccupied with it that I didn’t really pay attention to the roller coaster. My mind was somewhere else, the ride didn’t even register.

This girl that I was with at the time of the rope ladder incident was talking to me a couple years ago. She brought up the rope ladder incident and how mad I had gotten like it was a comic incident, which realistically it should have been. But I told her about my bizarre preoccupation with the event. I don’t know why. I try and keep shit under wraps. I think I used the phrase “cuckolded by the universe” and she didn’t sound particularly sympathetic. I felt stupid for having mentioned it.

A week later A package arrived it was a trophy, it was of a guy climbing a mountain. The inscription had my name and it said “Carnival Rope Ladder Thing Champion”. It totally made me feel better. Better and silly all at once. Since I didn’t think about it all that often I didn’t even really realize the number it did on me. But the trophy fixed it. Whatever it was.